


30/01/2019: Through The Window

by pop_incognito



Series: 365 Drabbles [30]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Study, Feelings Realization, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Potentially OOC, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, for now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 09:19:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pop_incognito/pseuds/pop_incognito
Summary: A teenaged Freed thinks about his changing feelings for Laxus.





	30/01/2019: Through The Window

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this, but be nice to me because this is very much me projecting onto Freed what I went through when I realised I was in love with my same-gender best friend as a teen. Anyway. I also wanted to keep away from some of the more........ negative characterisations of Freed in the fandom, so I hope I did okay.

Freed sneaks out of the guild library with a pile of books from the S-Class shelves stuffed under his shirt. The S-Class trials for the year have just come to their end, and Laxus has emerged victorious at all of nineteen years of age in a shower of lightning and a roar like a lion. _Like a dragon_. Biting his lip as he makes sure he isn’t being followed – Markarov has chased Freed away from those shelves more times than the young rune mage can count in the last five months – Freed hunts around for somewhere safe that he can read them in peace. He is determined to follow Laxus into S-Class ranking as soon as possible, which means he needs to seriously up his game, both as a mage, and as the captain of the Thunder God Tribe.

Laxus won’t want to keep them around now if the three of them start slipping behind him too far.

There are all sorts of nooks and crannies in the Fairy Tail guild hall if you know where to look. One of the rare benefits of having guildmates volatile enough to cause severe structural damage every other day of the month is strange little spots emerge, cut off oddly by temporary walls and support beams holding holes in the roof up. Freed slides into one of these, two walls made of newspapers and stray wood jutting out at odd angles to cover some holes and keep the drafts out until the new shipment of bricks come in, a badly shattered window being held together with tape and what could possibly be chewing gum between them. There’s an empty beer barrel under the window, smoke-stained and covered in grubby Cana-shaped handprints.

Freed can only assume that other people have been using this little spot – hidden from view of the main room of the hall – to escape the insanity every now and then. He dumps his books and, in a perfectly justified fit of paranoia, sets up a rune barrier so that he’ll be notified if someone tries to interrupt him. His books are about high-level language translations, ancient rune magic, and there’s even one small maybe-bloodstained book on dark and forbidden rune spells. _Dark_ _Écriture_ , the smudged title reads. The book is handwritten, the author’s name long worn off, and Freed is half-hesitant and half-exhilarated to open it.

A loud bang and maniacal laugh from outside distracts him as he holds the book out reverently in front of him – this is it, his first step towards following in Laxus’ footsteps – and Freed glances out the window. Banging and crazy laughs are a staple of Fairy Tail and usually wouldn’t call his attention over, but that was definitely Bickslow’s specific crazy laugh, and Freed is well attuned to his teammates idiocy. He sets his book in his lap and glances out the window.

Bickslow and Laxus appear to be sparring, Freed’s little hiding spot facing out the back of the guild hall as the afternoon sun streams in. He has the perfect view as Bickslow calls his babies back from where they had run head-first into a tree, Laxus easily stepping out of the way and zapping one of the tiki dolls out of the air. Freed’s breath catches in his throat when he looks at Laxus, and he puts his hands to his cheeks, embarrassed by the heat he feels there.

Head snapping down, Freed’s hair swings over his face in a green curtain. It isn’t fair. He doesn’t know when these feelings of trust and loyalty turned into… something else, something that makes his heart stutter and his breath short, but he doesn’t like it. Laxus deserves a captain who can think rationally, clearly, and who doesn’t let his emotions cloud his judgement; not a captain who sometimes finds himself daydreaming about Laxus’ rare genuine smiles and the heavy weight of Laxus’ hand on Freed’s back, the sound of his voice that night he had come to Freed’s room just to talk to him, because Laxus was tired of keeping his nerves about the trial hidden and he trusted Freed not to tell anyone about it. Freed slides his hands further up his face, covering his eyes when they start to burn and itch.

He is sixteen, he isn’t a child anymore, he should be able to control himself better than this!

Freed shouldn’t be feeling this way about Laxus, not when Laxus trusts him so implicitly as a friend. It isn’t fair to Laxus, or to Freed himself. But…

The books at his feet seem to stare at Freed accusingly, not for stealing them, but for being an idiot. Look at what he’s doing, the amount of trouble he is willing to get in and put himself through just for Laxus. He has to wonder if there is a point where he has crossed the threshold of simple loyalty and passed into something else.

Dropping his hands, Freed tucks his hair behind one ear – it’s getting longer, much longer. After spending his entire childhood forced to keep it shaved almost to the scalp, Freed rather enjoys having the soft length of it tumbling almost to his shoulder blades now. Fingers still running through his hair, Freed looks back out the window, the cracks separating out the view in front of him into several different images. The only one he has eyes for is the imposing figure of Laxus, more a man now than a teenager, finally filling out that tall form with muscle and power. He has Bickslow dancing a jig trying to avoid the lightning bolts being rained down on him, all of Bickslow’s babies scattered on the ground with dazed looks on their strange little faces.

Freed chokes on his breath when he finally forces himself to admit that he is love with Laxus.

Laxus looks up suddenly, orange eyes casting around until they land on the window. He frowns at Freed for a split second before his expression smooths out, brows un-creasing and a slow smile dragging the corners of his eyes up. He raises a hand and wiggles his fingers in Freed’s direction, his eyes almost gentle. Freed returns the gesture with a stiff hand, but the smile has eased some of the tension in his chest.

Maybe… being in love with Laxus doesn’t have to change anything. Freed can become the best captain he can be, he can make it all the way to S-Class, and put himself on the same level as his Thunder God, and it doesn’t have to mean anything. Freed can be content just watching Laxus through the window in quiet moments like this, and that way, even if he never gets what he truly wants, he can still stay by Laxus’ side, no matter what.

Face finally easing into a wistful smile, Freed lowers his hand and picks up his book again. He rests it on the windowsill and cracks the cover open. He can read and keep an eye on Laxus at the same time.

“Now,” he says to himself. “Just how illegal is this magic…”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and leave kudos!


End file.
